Sunday, March 20, 2011

Why I'm Leaving D&D

Alright, well if you saw my tweet earlier today you might know what this all about, but in case you don't let me say it again: I am dropping out of the D&D campaigns (Dethklok, Wyrmwick, etc.) in order to help improve the group dynamic and their chemistry. I'm sure to some of you see this a shock, but this is something I'm doing for myself and hopefully the future potential of these groups.

I'm sure people will assume this is entirely because of the heated exchange between myself and Spoony during last night's Wyrmwick campaign, but that's not true. Yes, it was a big reason why and the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak, but I've been considering this move for quite a while. Why? Well because this whole campaign started back when a few of us guys just wanted to sit around a virtual table and “roll dem bones” as they say (note: no one says that). We asked Spoony to be our DM and we got a group together and enjoyed playing some D&D. During session 4 we decided to start streaming the game to the live.lordkat.com audience and the response was outstanding. People seemed to really enjoy our game and really get into it. People commented on it, made a TVTropes page for it, and even drew fanart of our characters and special events. It was an experience I wouldn't trade for anything else because it allowed me to participate in a hobby I love with friends I enjoy being around and share it with the fans who appreciate it.

However you'll notice the past tense being used above. Obviously, those are thoughts I no longer share and the fact of the matter is that the D&D games have started to become far more convoluted than simply rolling virtual dice and doing stupid bullshit. Now there're players I don't see eye to eye with, drama behind the scenes, and tensions at the table. I haven't been able to enjoy myself at a game of D&D completely in quite some time, and as for the reasons why... well I'll do those offended parties the courtesy they never gave me and keep things private. Though for any investigative readers I'm sure you can identify what's changed to the group and why it frustrates me so much. D&D is a hobby, it's a game we play to bullshit and have fun with, and at this point I can no longer have fun playing a game where I'm told I need to bite my tongue to avoid offending another party and yet they refuse to make any concessions of their own or even speak to me directly about it. Playing in a game like that is difficult, and I endured it mostly due to wanting to satisfy my desire to roleplay and trying to ignore the negative aspects of it while enjoying the positive.

But then last night happened and I realized D&D games that I'm involved in will never be drama-free anymore. I offend people. I don't take things seriously. I shit on people's work. I'm too much of a joker. I'm too crude. My humor is offensive and takes away from the experience. These are some of the many complaints I've heard lobbied against me by the offended parties and I rarely hear anything else uttered about anyone else in the party so that's why I came to the decision to leave on the hopes that without my presence those still involved can have a more pleasant experience. Yes, I could fight against that and counter a lot of the complaints, but the only thing that will do is dissolve the group further and I'm in no way, shape, or form the star attraction in our games and I would hate for my attitude to be the reason why so many fans can't enjoy themselves watching our sessions anymore.

I don't leave without feeling regret, and I have plenty of people who don't want to see me leave both current players and fans alike, and trust me, I appreciate it, but clearly my presence in these games is a black cloud over the heads of other players. I'm tired of talking behind other people's backs and holding animosity towards people over a fucking hobby. I'm tired of dealing with the most stress of my life regarding something that should be my primary stress reliever. I'm just tried of being a part of it and I'd rather step away before it gets even worse. Call me a hero or a coward if you want, but the fact is I'm trying to leave these games in the most amicable way possible—by not slinging mud or making this ugly.

So, before anyone wonders otherwise, yes I will still be apart of LordKaT's stream. He's still my good buddy and has been a great friend during all of this. I don't want to have fans picks sides though I feel that will be an inevitable side effect of all of this. I'll still be doing everything I can to improve the product I give to my fans and I'll try to find new ways to utilize my blog to replace the D&D recaps that likely won't continue from here.

What happens from here is anyone's guess. I hope I don't end up doing more harm to the game in the long run, but I gather some players will hate not having me around just as some will love it. Maybe somehow I can work out my problems with the offended parties, but I doubt it will happen. If they're reading this, I'm all about trying to work this out and find a solution, but I'm not going to hold my breath on those parties even wanting me back.

I don't want to end this post negatively. I'm trying my hardest to be mature and level-headed in this post, and I want to say there's still hope in the future that something can be worked out. Maybe I never play again in those campaigns, but maybe I'll find another game or even start one of my own in the future. I still want to play RPGs, and my hope is that in time I'll find a way to do that. Until then I wanted to clear the air, give fans a better idea of why I'm stepping down, and wish my best to the remaining players in the Dethklok and Wyrmwick campaigns.

Until next time, Namaste!

35 comments:

  1. Hey, you're making a decision for the betterment of others. In my book, that's pretty awesome. People whine too much about 'offence' and quite frankly people like yourself are the people I find not only hilarious but wise to the truth of it all:

    Being offended means jack shit in the grand scheme of things.

    I will miss your participations in the D&D games, but I respect you for making the decision. Bravo, good sir.

    SteveJones313

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  2. I hope everything gets sorted out soon. You guys are the reason I started playing D&D, and I hate to see one of the corner stones of that leave, but I understand why(having had similar issues in my game). I hope the diplomacy roll is high enough that differences can be settled, and we can see you back at the table soon.

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  3. Iam not sure who had a problem with you, but i need to let you know i would have fought with you all the way to hell and back.

    you will be missed dearly, this will be a huge blow to D&D for my.

    now for something completely unrelated, would you and lordkat record some of you left 4 dead 2 versus i saw it for the first time last night and really enjoyed it.

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  4. To the person above me, Check out LordKat's Jtv page. Everything that happens on the stream is automatically recorded. Fans of the stream highlight unique things (like D&D, Left 4 Dead, Other streamed games, And funny moments) so it is easy to navigate.

    Now, for something on topic. RolloT, You were what made me a LordKat fan. I havent read your blogs yet out of laziness, but i am a huge fan of your humor. What will become of D&D without Chris Benoit jokes? We will have to see.

    You will be missed, but i assume you wont be that far away. I look forward to listening to you in non Wyrmwick and Dethklok related things.

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  5. That is a shame to hear, Chris, but it is your decision. I too hope the parties will one day agree to solve it, but people can be a bit stubborn (yes, even me).

    The only thing that should've offended me was the Benoit jokes, since he was my favorite wrestler, but they didn't.

    In that case, I'm guessing the perspective blogs will fall out as well because of this.

    To Inelson: You could check out LordKaT's justin.tv channel and see if more Left 4 Dead 2 are highlighted in there. And you should check out ganondorf49's youtube channel for more Rollo T shenanigans.

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  6. I do believe this announcment has made me very sad

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  7. Hopefully in the future we can come up with a planamaroo to get you back playing and having fun while you do it. Maybe you and some of the other people from the stream like ArcLight, Taur, and Gav can start a different campaign and have a less serious game every now and again and enjoy yourselves.

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  8. For what it's worth, you were always the most entertaining person in the DnD games for me. You've had me laughing out loud (embarrassingly so) many times, but you've also been a surprising voice of reason several times. So I'll be sad to see you go - but hey, if it's stressing you out you gotta go.

    Though, not everyone has a problem with your joking attitude right? Maybe there's too many games going on already, but I'd love to see you in a game where you don't have to worry about stepping on people's toes.

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  9. I reflect the feelings of others when I say you are what got me watching the campaigns and what really got me into watching the Lordkat stream. You, sir, are a comedic genius and hope you continue to do good. You took the roleplay aspect of the campaigns seriously, but still kept everything light hearted.

    I'm sorry to hear that the campaigns have lost the magic that they once had, but I hope you stick around the stream and with lordkat. I always love hearing you in chat and you are one of the few that can get me laughing to tears.

    I hope all parties involved can get back together and resolve differences, since the entire LK chat group seems to have such great chemistry when things are working well. You made me a fan of Lordkat and I check up on this blog every day.

    I hope things work out well in the future and I hope you can stick around to make me laugh for a long time.

    Peace

    ~Sighter from LK's stream.

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  10. I would like to say thank you to yawret and malik for the help. some of the nicest people can be found on tgwtg, lordkat. com, etc

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  11. Every group has their occasional conflicts, and I really hope that you guys can resolve them. I've loved watching your games and it's clear that all of you have strong bonds. It would be a shame to see those dashed over stupid shit. A break might be good for the time being, but here's hoping you'll return soon. Juliet is one of my favorite characters, after all.

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  12. This is quite a sad thing to hear. Juliet was the most RP heavy character in Dethklok and one of the most interesting ones.

    And in wyrmwick, you were you, aka, the driving force in the comedy.

    I do believe (damn you for that line, too) the games lost some of their magic now, though Wyrmwick is still amazing, given all the insanity.

    Good luck with the blog. And I'll be following the stuff you do here

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  13. Well that's...disappointing. Not so much that you're leaving - I understand your position entirely, hobbies should never become this stressful. My disappointment is in the individuals who seem to have driven you out of the game. It's inexcusable, frankly, to be so stubborn in one's negative attitude toward someone over what is, in your words, "a fucking hobby".

    I hope that these people see reason and make some effort to come to compromise with you so that you can enjoy the games again, but until then, let me say that I will miss your presence in the games, as I personally felt you were often at the very heart of them. I apologize if my words seem cross, but my frustration with these individuals is palpable and I feel it needs to be expressed.

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  14. This whole thing makes me sad. I'll really miss your contributions to the games. I've apparently been blissfully oblivious to any tension until now.
    Much respect, man. I will assuredly still be reading here.

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  15. Wow, this is very disheartening but I understand your reasons and I respect them, even if I don't fully understand them. I really hope you continue with the blog because I think it can be really interesting with all the new types of articles. The D&D sessions will feel really empty without your pivotal role and uplifting humor. I hope you will save Juliet because she was a fun character and with your background she has potential for further growth. Please continue with the D&D streaming, it's very fun watching you dick around in a fantasy setting. I hope you feel better.

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  16. Damn, hadn't gotten around to watching the last Wyrmwick session and I'm not sure if I'm going to now. I understand your reasons, but given that I thought you were by far the funniest part of the D&D sessions I'm still pretty disappointed.

    If you get together with another group, and the others in that group don't mind, think you could record it for your fans? Hope you don't give up on playing altogether, and I definitely hope I'll get to see you play.

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  17. I really hope you will reconsider your decision. On the contrary to your belief, I’d say you are the star attraction in the games. Well the entire core-group with Jason, you, Spoony, Skitch and YRuleroftime is pretty damn awesome.

    And I can’t see how people can be offended by any kind of humor. In my eyes humor is not something to be taken serious.

    If you’re really stepping down, I’ll take the chance to thank you for a ton of real “laugh out loud”-moments in the d&d-campaigns and wish you best of luck in all future endeavors. At least I got Transmission Awesome... for my Hi-Lariousshot of the week!

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  18. I tune in to the D&D sessions almost specifically for the sole purpose of the often crude, somewhat offensive, but never mean-spirited riffing and ribbing that goes on. The comedic dynamic between you, Jason, and Nick is the main reason I watch LordKat's stream at all. When one or two of you eventually start shitting on the other and the way each of you handles it and then you all come back friends leaves me nearly breathless with laughter everytime. I have quite literally never laughed to tears so much in my life as when I'm listening in on you guys.

    I will attempt to watch the campaigns and not childishly start a petition to stop watching D&D now that you're not a part of it, but I think I can safely say you will be sorely missed. I think I can even go so far as to say that those sources of criticism of how you play will even miss you after not too much time. You bring a much needed sense of levity to those all too serious and depressing moments which can drag down a game that has thousands of spectators. I commend your sense of humor, your lack of a filter, and your fearlessness (possibly ignorance) to lampoon with a sense of fair play.

    God speed sir, and I will await your return to the board hopefully; even if it never happens.

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  19. Hey, if it means anything to you, I enjoyed your roleplaying. The group I game with sees D&D the same way you do. A chance to bullshit with friends and have a few laughs. Hell, in one of our games, we have a player character that is a nazi robot, who is powered by the spear of destiny. We don't take the game seriously either. It's supposed to be fun. We once dicked around for 2 hours trying to figure out how to pass off our bard as the rightful heir to the throne. One of our crowning moments of awesome was that time our invoker blew an entire city into the ocean. The fucking ocean. He single handedly crashed a region's entire economy, killed thousands of people, and changed the geographical layout of the area. All of that just to kill an adult red dragon with plot macguffin. :P

    I hope you guys can work something out and you get to play again. Hell, if a spot in my group ever opens up, I don't think any of the guys would object to having you get on skype and game with us. Although, we do it a lot different than over at LordKaT's stream.

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  20. I will miss your supposedly 'crude and offensive' humor when watching future D&D sessions. I do think you are being quite modest though.. I don't see any characters in the campaigns as being a 'star' per se. Each seems to have their own moments.. be they: awesome failure, triumphant victory, or awkward comedy.

    I hope whatever problems there are can be worked out so you can make a return (I haven't really noticed any myself, but maybe I was just being oblivious..).

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  21. I have a tendency to cheek my tweets when im half asleep. so i read the one about you quitting dnd and thought it was a horrifying nightmare. Turns out it was all to real :( .

    I get you leaving the dethlorker( i know thats not spelled right but you know what i mean) campaign to avoid any drama, but i dont get why your leaving the whyrmwic campaign? Since as far as i've herd nobody has a problem with you.

    Finally i want to say im really going to miss you there you where probably the person there who i found the funniest. Im glad theres still TA which i love, but as for me you will really be missed when it comes to dnd. :(

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  22. I think it's commendable that you want to leave peacefully when a lot of people would be tempted to flounce out of the games.

    And I guess I can't speak for the other watchers, but I know for me it just won't be the same without you. Thanks for all the laughs and good times; there were a LOT of them. :)

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  23. This news saddens me to no end. While you might or might not think of it I find that you and your love of the game are what make the Dethklok campaign, as well as your interaction with the others, one of the funniest things I listen too.

    While recently both campaigns have been kinda losing heart with me I still watch time and time again the older sessions for a good laugh and all the epic moments that were produced out of it.

    But I am glad that you are trying to actively try to solve out these issues so that maybe later down the line we get some more of the Rollo T humor that makes the game so funny half the time.

    Whatever comes out of this just know you got fans that will stick by your side.

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  24. If you're quitting D&D you better do something else instead...! You are an awesome, entertaining and witty guy and though your humour is crude, it's also really conversational and suited D&D perfectly.

    You do Transmission Awesome (which is SO GOOD), but I don't see much else. That has to change if you're quitting D&D. The people demand more!! Or I do. I'm a people.

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  25. Man, it sucks that the "straw that broke the camel's back" came from Spoony who was clearly not listening to the entire session, took that entire bit out of context, and decided he needed to to be heard. Here I was thinking that you guys of the Wyrmwick campaign were gelling together amazingly well without Spoony around :(

    It'll be very sad to see you leave D&D entirely. I hope you'll at least be able to stay in LK's campaign as Spoony hasn't been playing in it lately (though, maybe he's not the only issue).

    You will be missed, Chris. You were really one of the highlights of D&D on LK's stream for me.

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  26. Awww the games are now going to start getting dull now that you have left the group.
    I agree with Lazy Steve up above that it has been starting to become a bit too serious, I do find it that it's also due to Joe not playing, and for the Deathlok campaign anyway with Linkara and Liz joining in and kinda keeping most of the joking around down to a min.

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  27. damn! now the only thing that is keeping me in with the spoony campaign is Iron Liz and her puns.

    .... everyone in the campaign seems to have their joking either being silenced or kept down which makes the stream less entertaining as time goes on.

    i also agree that without joe the campaign becomes more of a bore. He had this flare with doing a completely annoying pompous royalty type of character that no one else in the campaign can seem to emulate.

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  28. Well that's certainly disappointing. Juliet was probably the best character in the Dethclock campaign.

    Really, I can't say I'm surprised that much. Linkara and Liz, while I DO like them quite a bit on their own, are just a bit too sensitive and squeeky clean to fit in with the kind of "boys club" dynamic that the campaign had up until that point, and there seemed to be some friction from that point on.

    As for Spoony's comment... that was just kinda unexpected and weird, especially considering he was laughing and making jokes along side the rest of you when you discovered the golden couch. I almost want to say it was a jokey rant that got too serious.

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  29. This is profoundly sad to read. I saw the tweets last week and really hoped they were just said in the heat of the moment.

    It is a great loss to the people who watch the games. Losing Joe brought the game down but Rollo T was still one of, if not the, most enjoyable personality to watch at the table.

    Honestly I've lost a lot of respect for certain other members of the games if them taking the "D&D is serious business" mindset or having too thin of skin (considering they're internet personalities...) is what drove you off, and it's not hard to tell who those individuals are.

    Juliet and Chris will truly be missed.

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  30. Rollo_T I love you and you are actually alot of the reason that I got into watching LK's DND sessions (well you and of course LK) and I will probably still watch but I probably will not rush home to make sure I am able to watch it every sunday. I honestly think though that said parties are being a tad oversensitive. I mean you are Rollo_T Mocker of chris Benoit and his dead family! You were born to offend and basically built your fame off of offending people. So either they take you way too seriously or they do not know you as well as they claim to. Good Luck and you need to make a WWE game.

    - The Alien

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  31. Man... This really makes me sad :(. You will be truly missed, you were one of the main reasons I watched the sessions.

    I hope the is no bad blood between anyone and hopefully you'll be in a stress free game without the drama and people that get offended to much.

    You are Rollo_T and I do believe your hilarious sense of humor should not be censored for anyone.


    We need another planamaroo

    wesman of the LK chat

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  32. This is saddening to read. I am going to miss your humor and your voice acting for your characters. Hearing you do Eli's voice always makes me chuckle!
    I hope that you will at least return to the Lordkat's Wyrmwick campaign eventually. You seemed to have a lot of fun during your last session. You guys killed a big snake, and dragon! That is awesome!

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  33. It's good to see you still on the Wyrmwick campaign.

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  34. This encouraged me to watch the Wyrmwick videos. I have to say, I VERY much respect you for finally telling off Spoony. Someone has to keep his gigantic mangina under control.

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  35. I know I'm late to this posting but I had finally looked up to why the updates on the other campaign wasn't going anymore and I had stumbled onto what had happened. I know the type of person who does that sort of thing without really realizing that people were joking around. It's unfortunate that Spoony was just sticking up for LK but it obviously wasn't necessary. I think everyone, including spoony often makes fun of the enemies you face off against in RPGs. Heck, even in Ultima you face off a rat and you could make the argument that rats help carry the plague so they're deadly to fight against! Obviously no one gives a rats ass (sorry) about it and it's just making fun. Just the same it's not like the bee's have an attack that goes for your allergies.
    It's a shame it was more of just a misunderstanding but I'm sure there were underlying other reasons (like maybe your humor, which I do compliment.) You're not out there trying to offend anyone, you're just trying to make humor and I think most people know that.
    Anyways I'll be sure to look into wyrm campaign when I get more time.

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