Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Shut the Fuck Up: Rebecca Black

I really didn’t expect to be doing another musical act so soon, but here I am—although I am a bit hesitant to call Rebecca Black a musical “act”. I’m honestly stunned that there are some people out there who don’t know who Rebecca Black is, because that’s like not knowing where the “Over 9000” gag is from. Still some people are probably fortunate enough to be unaware of “Friday”, so let me fill you in on the essentials. Rebecca Black is a teenage girl from California whose parents bought her a music video with Ark Music Factory who try to make pop stars out of the girl next door. She made a song called Friday which is about a teenage girl getting excited for the weekend because she can party, and yes the song is just as emotionally satisfying as it sounds. It’s a terrible song filled with bad lyrics, awkward writing, and an overall vapid message but it’s also sadly coupled with an almost bafflingly bad video and well… Miss Black can’t sing. Yeah, I know I’ll be coming to her defense soon, but I have to get it out of the way: Rebecca Black sounds awful on Friday.

There, done. Whew. Okay, so am I angry at the people who say the song sucks? Not in the least. I can understand people saying this is a shitty song because well, quite frankly it is. Still, I’ve heard crappier music on the radio nowadays, and a song about deciding to sit in the front or back seat really doesn’t rank high on my “Offens-a-meter”. It’s a emotionally vapid pop song about partying sung by a girl who can’t sing. That also describes about 50% of pop music today, so what’s so heinous about Friday? Well, it’s really bad. As I said, the lyrics are God awful. “We so excited”? “Tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes afterwards”? Yeah, this song sucks and in general it’s pretty damn painful. So yeah the song deserves its criticism for sure, but for the love of all that is holy shut up about it.

I’m one of those people that get tired of something when it gets more attention than it deserves. Take Michael Vick for example. Great player, but people shower him with too much praise and focus. Friday is the same thing. I mean this song is ridiculously popular but it’s only popular because people like to listen to it and crack jokes. Don’t believe me? Check out Twitter’s trending topics in the US right now, and I can guarantee you’ll see Rebecca Black on that list, and she’s been consistently on that list for over a week now. It’s insane. Leslie Nelson wasn’t on the trending topics list for this long and he freaking died! Heck I think Rebecca Black has stayed on trending topics even longer than Japan did. Isn’t that kind of a sad social commentary on our generation?

See, for me the Rebecca Black thing died really quick. I listened to the song once and said “Oh man that was painful. Well, now what’s for dinner?” See, Rebecca Black’s Friday is just not that entertaining for me, and the fact it’s become such a popular meme is rather stunning. I can understand why people have turned it into a meme, and I’ll admit I’ve found a few .gifs that made me chuckle, but man the references need to stop. I firmly believe every person who makes a Rebecca Black joke this Friday on Twitter should be slapped in the teeth with Ron Jeremy’s cock. I’m sorry, but this meme is completely dead no matter how many times you say “Tomorrow is Saturday! And Sunday comes afterwards!” on Friday. It’s sort of like The Game. Remember how tired you were of it? How annoying it was? Rebecca Black has become that for me.

So yeah, long story short I get it: Rebecca Black’s Friday is a bad song. Now please Internet, move onto something else. I can only listen to people try to realistically dissect the “which seat can I take” line so many times before I contemplate murdering people, which for the record, Rebecca’s mom said she was also planning to do when asked about all the hate comments her daughter received. I bet she wishes she could have that interview back.

I’m Rollo T, that was my rant, and people need to learn to Shut the Fuck Up.


  1. For me I don't care about the song or ms. black. My thing is why would you spend two grand for that.

  2. @jh3448 Because Rich people need a reason to waste a ridiculous amount of money.

  3. I think part of the reason the meme is so popular is -because- of Japan. People like to latch on to anything funny and focus on that when bad things are happening.

  4. I literally just heard about Rebecca Black about thirty minutes ago and I'm already sick of hearing about her.

    I don't get why it's people think it's funny to go on and on making fun of wanna-be-- or actual-- teenybopper pop stars. She's just a kid and I'm sure she'll feel stupid for making that song in a few years (if she doesn't already).

  5. If you hadn't written this article I would never have heard of Rebecca Black. Pop music is like a giant rock coming straight for me down a hill, I pray to god it misses me. As for memes, that's so 2007. I think you should try something that makes you angrier because this one wasn't as, "Say it loud and say it proud child!" as the Beiber one. I'm interested to hear more though.

  6. I only heard about it from rollo T and toddintheshadows. Fortunate enough not to hear it except that tommorrow line. I haven't heard much of her except she is terrible. I forgot she existed until you reminded me, so why can't others forget so easily.

  7. First Lordkat and now you have opened my eyes to the this kid who I have never heard of.

    thank you for telling me the obvious... American pop music is horrible shit that should be avoided.

    I'd suggest that you listen to international pop music in a language that you do not understand so that you can at least appreciate the tunes without understanding what the horrible lyrics. In that way you can become another type of trendy hipster that listens to horrible crap and informs others of horrible crap without knowing just how horrible that crap is.