Wyrmwick Log: Session 3

It’s no secret that we don’t play D&D as often as we used to. Managing these varied schedules makes it hard to set up the game, and more often than not we’ve had to cancel the game completely due to certain members not being able to make the game. In these situations you might hear the “Wyrmwick Campaign” thrown around by members of the chat, and it’s this Wyrmwick Campaign that I want to focus on today. The Wyrmwick Campaign is another game of 4E Dungeons & Dragons played on the stream, but unlike the Dethklok/Spoony/Morgana Campaign everyone is familiar with, the Wyrmwick Campaign has a different cast of characters, players, and DM.

Our DM for the Wyrmwick Campaign is none other than LordKaT himself, bringing his expected New York accent and rugged charm to the role of GOD OF ALL YOU SEE! The players are as followed:

- Nik (Y Ruler of Time) as Dhother, the Elven Invoker
- SonicGav as John, the Human Fighter
- Skitch as Drew, the Human Rogue (Thief)
- Arclight as Kithra, the Elven Ranger (Hunter)
- Myself as Eli DeLucci, the Human Cleric (Sunpriest)

Now fans might also know that Spoony plays a character in this campaign as well, but for the purpose of the upcoming recap I’m not going to bring him up just for the sake of brevity (though honestly haven’t I thrown that out the window already?). You might not recognize two of the names on that list, and that’s because those two names (SonicGav & Arclight) are not TGWTG producers but rather are friends from the LK Chat we brought in to play, and they’re a lot of fun. To be honest, I actually am enjoying Wyrmwick a bit more than Dethklok mostly because of the company. Roleplaying games are usually more entertaining based on the company you’re with, and I’m a good deal closer to guys like Arclight than I am to some of the Dethklok players. It’s a fun campaign and has tons of “derp-tastic” moments for the fans. So let’s take one step closer to getting Wyrmwick on the same level of Dethklok by starting up a recap for the campaign! Da-dun!

So our adventure started in the city of Wyrmwick where we hired on by Thorin Hawklight, a lieutenant of the town guard, to arrest Wez the Mad. We successfully captured Wez and were then instructed to travel incognito to Orwayn’s Keep to collect some supplies. There we found a letter that seemed to implicate that Thorin may be involved in the same illegal activities he was asking us to stop, and soon after we found ourselves face to face with Orwayn himself, a Death Knight. To define a Death Knight for those unaware they’re BAMF that could fuck up our Level 1 noob asses in his sleep, so we were in an awkward situation. He told us he’d let us live if we traveled back to Wyrmwick to kill Thorin Hawklight, and with that we returned to Wyrmwick. That’s where this session began.

We had a mission, but it wasn’t as cut and dry as that. First off the letter only seemed to imply Thorin Hawklight and it wasn’t definitive evidence. Add to that two members of our party are religious characters who aren’t going to suddenly kill an innocent man at the whim of an undead abomination. Still, this wasn’t an enemy to exactly screw around with, so for now we decided to play things straight and see how it worked out. We met up with Thorin who eagerly sent out some men to collect the shipments we took from Orwayn’s Keep. He then told us he’d have another mission for us in a few days, and until then he would pay for us to stay at a local hotel. We left his company after that, but it all seemed far too suspicious. All of this seemed to be under order of the local council, and we figured that might be our lead into the truth of this ideal.

Either the council was in on this corruption, or we could use them to arrest Thorin Hawklight which would hopefully put Orwayn’s request to rest since Thorin would be removed from his position and thus he’d be out of Orwayn’s hair. We used some Streetwise checks to pull together a little information about a council member named Khan Muzarog who might be our target to speak with. We found out a few bits of info about him like that he was against taxes and mages in the town guard, and also a dark story that his wife was discovered decapitated in his bed long ago with her death believed to be politically motivated. We headed over to his office to have a meeting with Mr. Muzarog, but we were told by the secretary that he would be busy for a few days, and we’d be scheduled in after that. With that we proceeded to bed to await our meeting.

In the middle of the night however Eli was struck in the shoulder with an arrow—or as LordKaT phrased it “Eli wakes up with an arrow in his shoulder” which seems to imply Eli was shot in shoulder with an arrow and then slept through it. Silliness aside the arrow came attached with a note presumably from Orwayn that simply stated “KILL HIM”. Figuring that time was now of the essence, we decided to sneak into Khan Muzarog’s estate and talk to him now. We headed to his residence and from there we sent Kithra and Drew off to sneak into the house to unlock a way for us to make it in. Drew did this quite well, but Kithra for being an elven woman played by a British man was as far from graceful as could be. She might as well have worn frying pans for shoes and stomped on mice all the way through. Shockingly they didn’t alert any of the residents and after breaking Kithra was ready to let us in…

… by sneaking all the way back out of the estate and telling us that it was okay to sneak in. To state quite clearly the idiocy of this plan we sent our two stealthy team members in to find a way to let the entire party into the house. They managed to break in, and then proceeded to leave the house to tell us “okay your turn”. Dhother I believe adequately described it best when he said “why didn’t you just unlock the door!?” Kithra, in shame, had to sneak back into the house so she could unlock the door and let us in. This may have been the best moment of the night. Of course it didn’t end there as we still had to meet with Muzarog himself.

Drew snuck on ahead to see if he could find Khan on his own, and succeeded fantastically in that respect. He found Muzarog and his bedmate… a headless corpse. Cue everyone in the game jumping to the conclusion that Muzarog slept with the headless body of his dead wife. We panicked for a while about what to in this situation because let’s be honest, this was pretty fucked up. At this point we had already broken into the man’s house, so leaving wasn’t an attractive option. Instead Dhother and Drew woke Muzarog up to negotiate and just tried to ignore the decapitated body.

For a man sleeping in his bed with a headless corpse, Muzarog was rather relaxed. We talked to him, and found out that Thorin Hawklight was indeed not approving his missions through the Council. However before we could peacefully leave his home, Muzarog spotted the body and screamed. Turns out that wasn’t his wife’s body at all and instead someone left the body there to send some sort of message. I still think it would have been funny if he was just trying to cover for the corpse by acting all surprised. “Oh… Oh! What’s uh… what’s this doing here!? Covered in my semen! What are the odds?!”

So with that the guards came in and we were told to meet Muzarog tomorrow at his office which is what we did. We tried to figure out exactly who Thorin Hawklight was and where we could find out more about him, but Muzarog knew very little as apparently Thorin Hawklight was very low of the totem pole of the guard. Muzarog did invite the Commander of the Guards to speak with us and perhaps give us some information, but he seemed disinterested in us entirely. However I picked up on the fact that the Commander was wearing a full iron helmet, and asked to identify his voice. I couldn’t, but Dhother did, and he found a way to alert our party members and Muzarog before we confronted the mysterious Hawklight.

A battle began and Thorin was one tough motherfucker. Hitting him was a challenge especially since very few of us hit something besides AC. We did wear him down and eventually knocked him out (non-lethal), but soon a Transmuter entered the fight and proceeded to… turn us all into bunnies. Seriously. He did it like five times. He just kept turning Jonn and Drew into bunnies, and swapping placed with Dhother to escape his zones. It was annoying, but eventually we put him down too, and the session ended there. What will happen in the future? Will we learn the true intentions of Thorin Hawklight? Have we heard the last of Orwayn? Will Eli get more arrows shot into his shoulder? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z—I mean Pokemon—I mean D&D Recap: Wyrmwick.

Until next time, Namaste.